best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
The feeling are messing with the penis
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
