Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
