He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
