I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
