dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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