idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
