so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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