Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
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