Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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