She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
