oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
