idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
