So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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