Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
