I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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