I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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