i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
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