I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
