awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Randomize