i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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