I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
