I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i dont even know how to be here
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
