the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
