I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
