Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
