Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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