She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
3 2 1 whiskey
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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