By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Randomize
