Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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