i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
