3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
