just tell him i said nine months
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Randomize
