omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
