Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
