your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
