My boss' voice literally gives me gas
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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