do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
