feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
