I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
