You were right. It hurts to walk today.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
