My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
