Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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