she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
