it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Randomize