I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
