...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
