Duck Duck Cougar?
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
You may now shotgun with the bride
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize