She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
