She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
