Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
