i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize