Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
