so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
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