Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
