he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize