did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
