Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
