so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Randomize
