Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
