Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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