he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
