so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Randomize
