So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize