Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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