My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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