Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
