I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
is this the sara with the beer cane?
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
