we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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