if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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