why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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