How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
