do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize