Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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