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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
