My hand turned me down
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize