There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
You ate ashes out of my bong
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
