Non-Jews are for practice
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
